Proud Mama

Proud on so many fronts, but today I am beaming. My little guy attended his first day at The Nature Preschool! Considering other tough transitions he's had away from me, I was relieved that he said good-bye without tears. Don't get me wrong, he was clenching my pinky finger and pulling away from the door as we approach the Nature Center. But as other families piled in, he reconsidered and followed suit.

We placed his belongings in his "oak tree class" cubby and donned his beautiful little tree cookie name tag. We looked at all the interesting activities in the classroom, everything from homemade play dough to wooden cars and blocks, to the chalkboard wall. The book nook was inviting, full of familiar books like "Nuts to You" by Lois Elhert. Children were busy at "work" all over the room.

And I knew, intimately, what the rest of the day would hold.

When I told him it was time for me to say good-bye with another hug and smooch, the teacher was there to help redirect him. Not because it's wrong for him to be cautious about this new setting or miss the comfort of mom - both are completely normal. But helping him go to school, on his own, helps him unlock what he is capable of when I'm not there. If mom or dad is always around, then how can a child learn who they are apart from the family unit?

Ultimately, I'm ecstatic to watch E's independence blossom with or without me around.

I founded The Nature Preschool (along with instrumental others) when E was only a twinkle in his daddy's eyes. Now in our fifth year as a licensed program, hundreds of other children are benefiting from our nature-based approach to child-centered learning. Indeed, I am very proud to share this with my sweet son today.

E dressed himself - with two t-shirts and backwards shorts.

After fixing his wardrobe malfunction, off we went. He was skeptical...

This is the entrance to his classroom at The Nature Preschool at Irvine.

I'm so proud of my little guy!

sunny day at Cylburn

We had a great visit at the Cylburn Arboretum last week. Although the gardens are more manicured than the wild things I grow and love, they are home to all kinds of creatures. It was fun to watch E try to catch butterflies, touch the flowers and taste peppers from the garden. He also loved spending time with his little buddy!

 

 

first day jitters

Two huge first days this week: my son's first day of a drop off school program and the my own preschool's opening with the most families we've ever enrolled.

I couldn't be in two places at 9 a.m. Monday morning (surprising, right?) so I had to iron out the hiccups at work in order to focus on my son. Easier said than done. The two weeks leading up to Monday were brutal on all fronts.

Despite my halo of crazy, can I just say that our son is amazing? For all the worry my husband and I had about him being left on his own, he surprised us both. There was a brief look of concern and a "where's mommy?" as a few more children entered the room when it was time to say good-bye. I told him, "I'm right here. I'm SO PROUD of you! I love you!" and my eyes filled with tears. That was my sign to get out of there fast. Daddy reassured him he'd be back to pick him up and we waved good-bye. Off we went.

Given the fact that there's only five kids in his class with two teachers, and that school only runs for a couple hours, the logical part of my brain knew he would be just fine. And he was! The best part was how proud he was of himself. "I is so proud."

I have to trust that these new experiences will have just as much value and positive effect as what we've tried to provide. But letting go is scary! Except for close family, he's never been dropped anywhere before. He stays with our sitter when we work, but even that is like staying with family since she's been with him for nearly two years. It was a total crap shoot as to how he would react to being left on his own. I know the tears may still come once he adjusts after a couple of weeks, but for now I couldn't be more relieved.

Then, still wiping my tears, I shifted gears onto my preschool's big first day. By the time I arrived I could hear the children singing and there were no parents in sight. Could it be that things went that smoothly? Thanks to the amazing teaching and admin staff, everything went off without a hitch!

The week ended on a high note when E returned back to school and still walked right in like he owned the place. I stood there dumbstruck, trying to take it all in. My baby has grown into a little boy. Already! I is so proud!

 

oh cheese

Those little wooden animals just didn't want to fit inside the the barn. "Oh jeeze! They keep falling out!" I joke. Pause. Then out of no where, unbridled laughter. "Oh cheese!" he squeals and giggles. "Oh cheese!" Don't you just love their sweet, pure laugh?

The school year is barreling closer and I'm wresting again with major mommy guilt. Say what you will about how adaptable kids are, I get it, but that doesn't take away the aches and pangs of guilt I feel most days I'm away from him.

Yes, there are days that I don't feel that ache. And then I feel guilty about that, too.

Anyone who knows me knows how passionate I am about my work and how much I love my job. Before having children I was always the last one out the door, staying until it was dark outside knowing full well I'd never recover all that overtime. I didn't care - there was just so much to do. I was (and still am) hyper-motivated about innovating programs and teaching. Especially as it pertains to getting messy.

Now that I've built an incredible program, brick by brick (or more accurately leaf by leaf), that same ambition grows. In fact, it's insatiable.

Given the work that I do as an educator, I feel proud. Proud of the profound and lasting effects my work has on students, families and other educators. My work also plays a great role in my own child's life when he enters our nature preschool next year. This is more than just a job. It is how I define myself and how I share my values with the community. I have an amazing career that goes beyond punching a clock, collecting a paycheck and racing like a bat out of hell when it's five.

There you have the dynamic. When I'm not with E or thinking about spending time with him and my husband, then I'm obsessing (and dreaming) about work.

With the on-going reminder of the graduate coursework I put on the shelf nine years ago, and then revisiting the idea again last fall, I continue to struggle with my work family balance. I long to further my career so that my reach goes beyond the one program I've created. I want my reach to be national. International. And I'm not far off from achieving those goals. The more I work with educators, the greater impact my vision will have.

So I'm longing to complete my Masters coursework, once and for all. Well, until I go on to pursue my Doctorate.

And then I'll go back as a feisty little old lady and get that MFA in painting.

Did I mention I completed those three painting commissions? They are finally out the door! But I digress...

The point is, I always want to thinking long term. I have a lot of career left! But this fight in me to do more with my career is always tempered with the guilt and struggle of more time away from my son. In this case, it's only three hours of class. But it's an intense three hours on top of a day away from him at work first. And that three hours means more childcare or juggling with my husband on top of our crazy opposite schedules.

How do you put the brakes on a career at the exact moment in time when momentum is at its greatest? How do you explain that urgency to people around you that can't recognize the power and potential of this ambition? How do you justify or reconcile more demands of mommy's time with an overworked husband and a toddler at home?

Ah the demands of a modern mommy. Oh cheese.

fast times

It's been a whirlwind of work/family juggling this last month. I don't even know where to begin!

Let's start with the year-end celebration of my Nature Preschool in May. The final festivities felt like we were throwing a giant wedding! All went off without a hitch - even the weather cooperated - and the children had a joyful day to celebrate with loved ones.

We said good-bye to diapers Memorial Day weekend.

Fast forward two weeks to the first annual Nature Preschool Conference on June 8-9, 2012. It was a huge success! We had nearly 100 attendees from across the country and a wonderful keynote speaker, author/educator David Sobel. Marty Watson from the Dodge Nature Preschool in MN and Stephanie Bozzo's crew from the Audubon Nature Preschool in MD presented insightful perspectives on how they approach nature-based learning. I've never been more nervous, or felt more relieved, after presenting and learning from this amazing group of conference participants. I'm already making plans for next year's big conference on June 7-8, 2013 at Irvine Nature Center!

Did I mention that I booked a trip to Rehoboth and we left the day after the conference?

So, yes, crazy busy, just how I like it.

The boy is doing BEAUTIFULLY with potty training. I read "Diaper Free Before Three" by Jill Lekovic and the minute I put it down I thought, yep. Let's take this bull by the horns and dive in. Day 1 was the most difficult but we stuck to our guns! We used a pull-up on the first day at his nap and then at bed, but my clever husband said "that's confusing - if we're going to do undies we should get rid of the diapers altogether". How smart he is! On Day 2 we were totally undied up.

For your amusement, this is Day 1 of potty training.
I believe there were 9 wardrobe changes all told.
But smooth sailing from Day 2 forward!

Rehoboth Beach was a great get-away for all of us. I really wanted to re-connect with E after being pulled in so many directions for work. He loved the beach (once he took his hands off his ears). He's highly sensitive to sounds so the crashing waves, laughing children, squawking gulls, and boats took a couple of days to get used to. Thank goodness summer is here!

play date at West Shore Park in the Harbor

The fabulous creator of (cool)progeny hosts play dates and mom's only nights in and around Baltimore. We went to her recent play date downtown and had a blast! Be sure to visit her site and check out the great calendar listing of activities for kids under the age of five. She's got some (cool) guest bloggers AHEM as well!

yum!

While looking for great recipes online, I came across a simple apple juice/cranberry recipe. I'm going to invite the preschool students finger paint with chilled cranberry applesauce this week, in light of the holiday. They will get to eat it for snack, too. YUM!

E will be my guinea pig tonight...thought you might like to try this, too!

encouraging creativity (there's video!)

I hope E experiences that wonderful sense of freedom and joy that comes through the creative arts. If nothing else, I hope he'll be able to appreciate all kinds of art, music, dance, and theater. He's off to a great start!

little things

Our baby is growing ever closer to age two. And with his independent, determined, busy-body spirit comes a faster paced world for us to keep up with. I'm trying to savor the little things, those simple moments of discovery and joy. But wow is the cliche true: oh how time flies.

Pipe cleaners + plastic jar = fun!

"Well, if I can't ride my trike yet I'll just sit on it in the rain."

Mushrooms are weird but irresistible to touch!
(Yes, we wash our hands. No, we're not freaks about letting him touch them.)

This makes my heart pitter patter.
Is it wrong for me to hope he'll be an artist like mama and dada?

The orange paint is a natural cornstarch paint that we tried.

That's it, E. It's more fun when you get messy!

This is a favorite pastime: - s-l-o-w-l-y rolling cars and trucks on the table and watching with steely concentration.

flannel board! car table! spider art!

It was a creative day today. I finally completed E's flannel board along with lots of felt pieces to move around. My favorite is the tree.

My first attempt to transform the back of these book shelves into a flannel board was...lackluster.
I ripped everything off and started again.

Here's the finished flannel board!

The wavy green part along the bottom is actually a pocket.

I made a deeper pocket on the lower right side to store our recycled alphabet cards.

The "car table" is more accurately an inverted diapers.com box we do puzzles on. I glued some white paper down (to draw on) and then glued down some recycled cardboard coffee cup sleeves. E loves it! Eventually I'll make a more elaborate one on a bigger box. I've also got an idea to make a bunch of chutes and tunnels with paper towel tubes...I'll keep you posted.

E has a random collection of cars. I buy the wooden ones, but he has inherited plastic ones from family. He loves them all the same. And he was diggin' his new "street"!

This spider art came about because I'm trying to figure out what to do for E's birthday party. This was a proto-type I made with E today. He gave it the seal of toddler approval! Shh...don't tell his guests!

E's very own spider art!

Here's what you do:
Step 1: Paint your canvas a solid color (I used acrylic craft paint on an 8x10 inch pre-primed canvas). Let dry.
Step 2: Draw, paint, or stamp your spider body. Remember - they have two body parts! Fangs and spinneret optional!
Step 3: Poke holes for legs by making 4 holes on each side of the head. I used a tapestry needle and wiggled it around to make sure the holes were large enough.
Step 4: Pre-cut leaf shapes out of tissue paper. Recycle unwanted gift tissue paper if possible. (Toddler could practice snipping and cutting shapes to use in background.)
Step 5: Help your toddler use a glue stick and spread glue on the background. Tap tissue paper leaves and shapes onto the glue. These leaves will help your spider camouflage.
Step 6: Pull each of 4 chenille stems (pipe cleaners) through the holes on either side of the spider to make the legs.

There you have it! Other suggestions might include: Glue sequins or buttons to the body for spots. Or try gluing silver thread from the spinneret to make the spider silk. Or use Elmer's glue and make a trail of spider silk by covering it with glitter. I'm not a big fan of google eyes, but you could add those as well.

This project is easily adaptable for ages 2-8. Please email me your pics if you try it!

wordless Wednesday: planting the mums