from dreamland, with yuv

The weather has been sunny and sweltering but generally that doesn't keep us from getting outside. E's even learning how to fend off the "skeeters" by swatting. And thanks to Gram, he just can't stay away from that Cozy Coupe. Boy, he loves that thing.
Unfortunately we've been battling with a high fever for two days now and it's definitely slowed my little guy down. His temp was up to 104 at the doctor's office today! "I'm not fee-wing my best" he repeats in the sweetest voice you ever heard. Would you believe that on our car ride home from the doctor's office, after she swabbed his throat for Strep, he still said "we had very much fun today". Talk about a good sport!

So, here's the cutest thing that I just have to share: I decided to rock him tonight and skip our usual routine because he could hardly keep his eyes open. I snuggled and rocked him in his dimly dusk-lit room until he was deeply snoring. I admit, I kept rocking anyway trying to savor the baby love. Eventually I gently lowered him into his bed making sure to tuck him in with his crocheted blue blankie.

I stroked his flush cheek and his little glassy eyes popped open. He sweetly said, "we fu-got to read books" followed up with "we fu-got to send yuv". It was all I could do to keep from crying and laughing all at once. "Send yuv to Aunt Doy-ya" was what he wanted to say. ('Sending love' is our way of showing gratitude and concern for those we love each night.)

I continued to rub his hair and listen to his angel voice. "There's a lion. The lion not going to hurt you. Lion might kiss you". He was referring to a baby toy still hanging from his bed. I have never seen more of a cherub face as I did tonight. I have never heard more innocent, precious words fall from anyone's mouth. All I could think of is how much love I have for this incredible little boy.

Which is what brings me to his favorite books. We skipped them tonight, but I hope he'll be well enough to hit the books tomorrow night! He's upgraded his faves from the 1.0 to the 2.5 version. (I'm talking age here people.) Here are some of the best:

Where's Spot? by Eric Hill
Harry the Dirty Dog by Gene Zion
How Does a Dinosaur Say Goodnight? by Jane Yolen
I Love You Stinky Face by Lisa McCourt

And some lesser known favorites:

The Barn Owls by Tony Johnston
to be like the Sun by Susan Marie Swanson
Mouse in a Meadow by John Himmelman
On the Seashore by Anna Milbourne and Erica-Jane Waters

potty parade?

Oh, he's getting so big!

I've washed his first "big boy undies" and training pants in preparation...He's using the potty every day but not quite ready to make the switch. I'm amazed at how quickly he's taken to it. I guess it's been about a month now since I've been inviting him to go sit on the potty. Gradually he's been going more and more each day. I had no idea how exciting it would be when he did his first real poop in the potty last night. I am so proud! I didn't read any books on the topic (there's still time and we're in no hurry) but I think common sense prevails. We never force or rush him when he sits on the potty so there is zero pressure about him going - it's totally up to him whether he wants to try or not. And there's practically a tinker tape parade anytime he pees or poos because I show him how excited and proud I am! He's very pleased with himself, too. :)

I'll give you an update once we change over to big boy undies and we'll see if my theory still holds true. Oh, my baby is getting SO BIG!

power of play

"Play" is a topic that most people don't give any thought to. Lots of parents want their kids to "go play" to get them out of their hair (myself included at times!). It's an enjoyable time for kids to wind down and have fun. But I've been uncovering the importance of play recently, and what I have found is profound and eye-opening.

Christine Carter, author of Raising Happiness, points to several insightful studies throughout her book. One I find fascinating is about children's self-control. The initial study was conducted in the 1940's and was replicated in 2001. A series of experiments were performed on children ages 3, 5, and 7 years old. Each task required some degree of focus and self-control, for example, standing still. Researchers discovered that children were only half as likely to be able to control themselves compared to the children studied in the 1940's.

Some people might be tempted to think that the out-dated approach of punishing and spanking kids is why some children have lost the ability to control their own behavior. (You've heard parents say it: "what that kid needs is a good kick in the pants!") To the contrary, Carter states:

"Besides being ineffective over the long term, punishment - physically punitive practices such as spanking as well as threatening behaviors such as yelling, grabbing, and verbal coercion - tends to be damaging to kids. Lots of studies have found associations between harsh parenting and higher rates of defiance, behavior problems, and depression and anxiety...not to mention kids' diminished ability to control their behavior and emotions."

So why is self-control relevant to a discussion about play? Because Carter's research also finds that:

"In addition to helping kids learn to self-regulate, child-led, unstructured play (with or without adults) promotes intellectual, physical, social, and emotional well-being. Unstructured play helps children learn how to work in groups, to share, negotiate, resolve conflicts, regulate their emotions and behavior, and speak up for themselves."

Research shows that children are developing keen skills that they cannot obtain ANY OTHER WAY through spontaneous, child-led play. No amount of structured lessons or academic preparations will substitute for the knowledge children construct on their own during play. In fact, the urgency that some parents feel to give their children an academic "leg up" can be doing them a great disservice - if happiness and success is the intended goal. Carter finds in one study that:

"...children attending academic preschools showed no advantage in reading or math achievement over kids who went to play-based preschools, but they did have higher levels of test anxiety...These academically pushed kids were less creative and had more negative attitudes toward school than did the kids in play-based preschool."

So if we know that play is good for our children, why don't children play as much now as in the past?

There are many factors to take into consideration. Children have far more scheduled activities today. Children are spending more time in child care centers, where regimented activities are the norm, rather than unstructured play. Children don't spend enough time outdoors exploring (read Richard Louv's Last Child in the Woods for more on that). And although the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no television watching for children under the age of two, children are still getting too much screen time. Even with the television on as background noise, it still hinders a child's ability to focus during play. Carter sites another study that found that "TV viewing before the age of three can harm language development and attention span later in life." Though some programs are educational and interactive, screen time cuts into creative and unstructured play. Another factor must be the amount of time we spend in vehicles getting from point A to point B. Carter notes that on average, children have about 8 hours per week LESS of play.

30 minutes is the minimum amount of play needed to foster this healthy development. Several hour stretches are better. This allows children to become immersed in play, busy developing the skills they will need as adults. It seems that, much as it is difficult for us to do in these modern times, we must slow down, unplug, and give our children some good old-fashioned time to play.

toddler review: his favorite books



Our sweetie reads I Am A Bunny before bedtime.

Every day I get the great priveledge of snuggle time with my toddler when we read books. This happens several times a day from the moment he wakes up until just before he lays down for the night. As a mom and an educator, his early interest in books feels incredibly rewarding.

He loves books. I'm not sure if it's the reading as much as it is the funny, beautiful or strange illustrations that he wants to figure out. He mimics the sounds I make and tries to find the tiny details hidden in the pictures. I know his vocabulary is multiplying as I read and re-read the stories -- research tells us as much. But I'm also starting to learn more about him and his interests, too.

After we read, I let him go back to the beginning and flip through the pages without my narration. Sometimes he talks, points or stops to look closely at an image. Watching and listening as he interacts with the books helps me to discover what he is curious about. Considering his limited vocabulary, any insights about what he enjoys, is fascinating to me.

If you've got (or had) a toddler then you already know that any book with flaps or pieces to manipulate are a big hit. He relishes a good "lift the flap" book or books with special textures.

There are dozens of classics that we are just getting into (Goodnight Moon, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, I Am A Bunny and The Snowy Day, etc.). But there are many more fantastic stories that you may not have heard of. Because I enjoy the books just as much as E, I thought I'd share some of these lesser known faves:

Little Feet Love by Anthony Nex (lots of textures for feet!)
In My Tree by Sara Gillingham (a tiny owl finger puppet)
Counting Book 1 to 10 by Cyndy Szekeres (adorable mouse illustrations to count)
Mama, Where Are You? by Diane Muldrow (flaps of baby animals and their mamas)
The Tiny Tadpole by Little Scholastic (touch and feel book about frog metamorphosis)
I Dreamt I Was a Dinosaur by Stella Blackstone (beautiful textile illustrations)
Ten Little Ladybugs by Melanie Gerth (touch and feel lady bugs to count)
Natural World A, B, C by Crocodile Creek (chunky board book - read, identify pictures or sing the song)
Fuzzy Yellow Ducklings by Matthew Van Fleet (touch and feel with flaps, including "sticky frog tongues")
Little Bee by Chronicle Books (finger puppet helps encourage appreciation for bees!)
Goodnight, Baby by Ikids (place the animal babies in a pocket on every page)

Please share your favorite books for toddlers, too. I'd love to keep adding to our growing library. Happy reading!

great reads for parents and educators

I will devour any book or reading material if I think it will help me become a better parent or educator - and I just can't get enough of these two books: Raising Happiness by Christine Carter and Mind in the Making by Ellen Galinsky. Keep your pen and paper (or Ipad) handy because you'll want to take notes when you read them!


Photo copyright at http://www.amazon.com/.

Raising Happiness is my new bible. The author speaks as if she were chatting to a friend on the phone, but her observations and advice is based on sound, documented research and lots of her own parenting "oops" moments. This book is chock full of realistic methods and specific techniques that a parent, caregiver, or educator could use to help encourage the skills and emotional literacy that children need to develop habits of happiness. I particularly love Carter's points about the importance of maintaining a "growth mind-set", her "ways to raise kind children", and her geniusly simple problem-resolving steps. Please, I beg of you, READ THIS BOOK! To learn more, go to http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/raising_happiness/.



Photo copyright at http://www.amazon.com/.



Mind in the Making discusses the "seven essential life skills every child needs". In fact, I know plenty of adults that need some of these skills, including myself! This book provides useful insight into the science of a developing brain, which has helped me better understand why some behavioral strategies are more effective than others (especially where my preschoolers are concerned). For example, there is a passage about the importance of focus and self-control, along with practical activities to try. The author provides case studies and research findings which help explain how our brains are wired and how they respond to our educational approaches differently. Mind in the Making is a fascinating read and ties in nicely with the emotional literacy piece that Raising Happiness highlights.

If you find yourself snowed in any time soon, I hope you'll have the great fortune of reading both of these books. I plan to put this information to good use in my classroom and at home. I am happy to say (get it?) that I'm already practicing "loving-kindness", but you'll have to read up to see what it's all about!