what the?!*?

This about sums up my week.

super cute Sunday

He saw this hat at the store and exclaimed "Dada's! Dada's!". Naturally, I had to get it for him and he LOVES to wear it!

Guess who learned how to open the fridge?

back on track

After a grueling week of no napping, I am happy to report we are back on track! We (and E) were exhausted and had no more tricks up our sleeves or patience to sit in his dark room and wait for him to fall asleep. Rocking him proved only to make things worse because he refused to lay down after sunggling and would wake up immediately if we tried to move him into bed. This was NOT a case of a sick baby needing comfort but a battle to stay awake at all costs!

Finally my husband uttered those words I couldn't..."we will have to let him cry it out". And within 30 minutes of crying, he was asleep for the night. Luckily he was so tired he didn't have the energy to keep it up - and he didn't get out of his bed or bang at the door, which helped me hold my breath and wait for him to settle. Then the next day at naptime, he only cried for 20 minutes. That night at bedtime he cried for 5 minutes and ever since, he's our sweet angel lying down at bedtime. Thank goodness! My sanity has returned!

home alone

What a week. I can't remember a work week/home week that felt this crazy in a LONG time.

I know I'm not the only one, but saying it's "hard" to work and be a mom is an understatement. As my husband would say, "'hard' is wearing in a new pair of boots". Saying this was a hard week just isn't strong enough.

I'm sure you know (since I love to blog about it) that I'm the director of an amazing nature preschool. It's new and growing exponentially. Working part-time may leave some people with the impression that there's somehow less work to do. Not so. It just means that I have to miraculously do all the tasks that I would be doing full-time, crunched into a part-time schedule. I am a perfectionist when it comes to the quality of my program, so it kills me when I think I could be doing something better but can't. Managing staff, teaching, communicating with families, touring prospective new ones, and evaluating our practices - these are all tasks I take very seriously. The littlest bump in the road knocks my apple cart completely off track! This week I felt like I was struggling to keep it all together.

Of course, personal stuff always affects my opinion of the big picture. Our nanny was out one day, so I needed to piece my schedule together, missing time I hadn't planned on missing. I had an extra early meeting at work one day which threw me off. We had our windows replaced this week, which meant E had to be out of the house - and as a result he DIDN'T NAP EVEN ONCE. (Do I need to spell out the implications of no nap, mommies?) And this crazy home schedule threw E off even to the point of weird waking times, but the icing on the cake was his refusal to go to bed at all on Thursday night! I'm talking two hours of sheer torture people. Add to this my excitement (yet stress) of being commissioned to paint three new paintings on a tight deadline with no time to do it...and viola! STRESS!!!

After that little rant (thanks for listening) enter our Godsend, my Mother-In-Law.

I've heard all kinds of stories about the relationships people have with their MIL, many not so nice. But mine? She's amazing and she's absolutely smitten with our son. She's always ready to talk me down from the ledge and this week was no different. She happily picked E up from work last night so that I could have a reprieve and paint.

Yes, I feel guilty for not spending time with E after working all day on Friday. But given his sleeping craziness, I'm hoping this little visit will reset things for him and help get us back on track. Besides, I'm happy that he is developing such a loving relationship with his Gram and Pop. So, despite her joking threat of feeding him Popeye's chicken (you know I'm vegetarian, right?), off he went.

This is my long way of saying I'm home alone and recovering from a crazy week. Now, if you'll excuse me I have cup of coffee and some paint waiting for me.

This is just the initial stage of the painting. I thought I'd take some photos as it develops so you can see the process.

Stage 2...

Stage 3 and still painting...

Again, just the initial stages of the painting. On this last image you can see the medium is still wet.

my bloggiversary! I'm one!

Another new year is about to ring in. This is a time of reflection for me, so I can't help but think about where my head was at the same time last year.

It was this time last year I had the incurable urge to begin this blog. I don't know what my main goal was. I knew I wanted to share details about raising my son and life with my hubby like so many other mommy bloggers I admire. But I didn't realize how many other petals of my life were waiting to unfurl. Recipes, outings, arts and crafts, gardening - and all kinds of other "hot mess" topics - all right there to share.

So go ahead and laugh at my expense, offer up your advice or, well, just acknowledge that you get where I'm coming from. It helps me keep both feet on the ground.

I love polar bears! I'll give this one a kiss!
(Thanks to our neighbors for the amusement all month!)

Looks like these snow people could use some kissing, too.

Ethan shoots some hoops... Thanks for the b-ball hoop, Gram and Pop!

Santa brought this wooden choo-choo set for Ethan. He stares at the wheels, mesmerized.

Ethan loves his new kitchen set! Thanks to Gram, Pop and assorted aunts and uncles,
our house is overrun with wonderful toys! What a lucky little boy...

Happy one-year bloggiversary to me!

help with the tree and chocolate bon-bons

He helps light the tree...

Okay, he lights up that tree in my mind...but he also helps light this one:

The self-proclaimed tradition, you see, is to put up our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. That way I can revel in the glow for as long as possible! The tree makes me happy!

And now for the famous chocolate bon-bons. You haven't tasted heaven until you've tasted one of two things: my chocolate babka (at Easter) or my mother's famous bon-bons. If you're allergic to peanut butter you may as well just cry yourself to sleep tonight.

powdered sugar and rice crispies meet

peanut butter and butter in double-boiler - not exactly good for your waist

Chocolate Bon-Bon ingredients:
2 cups peanut butter (16 ounce jar)
1 stick butter
1 box powdered sugar (actually, you'll probably only need to use 3/4 of the box)
3 cups of rice crispies
2 (11.5 ounce) bags of milk chocolate morsels

Combine powdered sugar and rice crispies in a huge bowl. Set aside.

Melt peanut butter and butter in double boiler. After the peanut butter mixture is melted, mix well with the sugar mixture. Let cool. Put butter on your hands then roll into delicious bite-sized nuggets. Place on a cookie sheet lined with wax paper and let cool in the freezer. Meanwhile, melt milk chocolate in a double boiler. Once cool, dunk the nuggets in chocolate and freeze again on same wax paper.

These insanely delicious bon-bons remind me of the miracle pill that Wesley swallowed on The Princess Bride to bring him back to life. Enough said.

Christmas U-turn

I feel guilty about not writing in the last couple of weeks. I could say that I've been busy (which is true) but I'm always busy. Truth is, I've had a couple of things on my mind.

Firstly, I've been spending a lot of time thinking about Christmas. It's the most stressful time for me in my personal life. Despite my best efforts to remain grounded, I worry about money and giving gifts.

As a little girl, there was always a lot of build up to the holidays. I remember my mom giving me a Sears catalogue to circle things I wanted. I'm sure I wrote a letter or two to Santa. There were Christmas records that we would play and I would belt out "I'm Getting Nothing for Christmas". As I got older, I would sit and rock while listening to "Carol of the Bells" and "Oh Holy Night". Mom would make her dynamite chocolate bon-bons and pecan sandies. She hung these beautiful felt stockings that she made for each of us. They had little faces and hair that looked like me and my brother and sisters. There was also the token advent calendar that we would use each year to countdown to Christmas.

But like most kids, I was focused on receiving gifts. Even at our elementary school, I remember they hosted a fundraiser in December where you went to purchase gifts for your family, as opposed to making something.

My favorite teacher, Ms. Como, led my first ever "Secret Santa" gift exchange. I remember how different it seemed for our class to be seated in a circle instead of behind desks.  The gift could be something from home that you simply didn't want or need, so long as someone else might enjoy it. That seemed like a novel idea.

Other than a beaded candy cane I made in Girl Scouts one year, I don't remember a tradition of making gifts and giving to others.

My mother was always stressed about money and giving gifts. GULP. Now I'm her.

So I had a great ladies night for my dear friend's birthday and she and her sisters got to talking about Christmas. I listened as they shared their family traditions of making gifts for each other. Each child only asked for one gift - not because they were told to - but because it was tough for them to think of anything they want.

This is another reason why television watching can be harmful: commercials. The children mentioned above rarely watch television so they aren't bombarded with things they should want. They aren't immersed in the gimme pop culture that we live in.

Dually noted.

Another dear friend of mine shared with me that she decided she would only give her children four gifts each year. Being a fervent Catholic, she decided that if her Savior only received three gifts, then that is good enough for her children, plus one special gift from her and her husband.

I ask myself: why am I compelled to make a huge list of things I want to buy for my son? The result can only be that he will learn to expect a pile of presents each year and I will continue to stress about it. Of course we feel happy to receive something special, but that is diminished when expectations are sky high. It only leads to disappointment and a skewed outlook of what makes a person happy. My goal is to help him understand that real, lasting happiness doesn't come from things. How's he going to understand that if his happy Christmas is based on us buying him things?

That's why I've decided to make something of a U-turn, a righting of the ship, if you will. Our focus must be on giving. He's two, so he limited in his understanding of making gifts for others, but there's no better time to start a tradition than now. When he looks back on his holiday memories, I want him to remember that he helped make the cookies for the trash collectors, postal carrier, doctor office, and teachers. He will have a hand in making special ornaments or picture frames or whatever it might be for his loved ones, even as a tot. And I want him to feel that fantastic, unquenchable happiness that comes from giving something special to show gratitude for people that make our lives better.

I know this seems like a no-brainer - I'm always making gifts for others anyhow, so why would this modest gift approach be such a departure? But it truly will be difficult for me not to go crazy and buy him every cute wooden toy I see. I think this is my (mom's) urge to make my child happy with stuff.

I'm going to keep re-reading this post if I have to in order to stay the course. We'll see how it goes...

All I need is my family, mom.